Some reflected thoughts!

Trying for some Fun with You my Friends, Nice and Gentle People!

The other day I could read, about human evolution, that one among possilbe causes for "bipedismo", in spanish, (erect standing-up, traditionally supposed to be for walking, but after what I read I am not so sure ) was what it's called the "trench-coat" ( ), which means some kind of sexual tactician from males playing in reproduction roles, to attract females to themselves. By their pennis.
Now You will understand why I've always been so worried about being or not being tall. All helping were and are welcome!!

I am finally going to the dentist, this morning. I am caring!!
These last times, when I am studying, it's like when I studied physics and philosophy (my favorite) at 17. I am Feeling that rare kind of inner magic, and You are Always There, with me, in me!! This watch keep on running, but mind is Feeling like those days another time.
You are MAGIC, so Pure and Brave that I don't know what to say.
Much more than anything I've ever dreamed in my life.
I Love You, more and more. I am Feeling so Young!!
I Admire You and Love You and Adore You, much more than I can say!!
Always with You, my Heart, your Existence!!

I am Feeling Love, not as passive role from me, just as Pure Love, unconditioned.
The good thing, from an exclusively selfish perspective, is that this Love inspires me and makes feel good.
But the Truth is that I would never let it go or die for anything, whatever could happen to me.
I think that is not passive at all. Dynamic Love, Feelings, Sensuality, are Fruits of the mind. Yes, from the body, but they all happen in our minds.
Brooke, my mind and my heart are fulfilled with your Love and Sex-appeal. They make me feel Alive!! Nothing else matters at all!! Destiny and Truth are what they are, and I am Honest enough to know and to admit them, Peacefully!! After All, the only Truth about all this is your Simple Existence, and your Happiness!!
I Adore You!!
All my steps, are made through and by the light of this Love!!

Hola, Hello, Hi!! My Beloved Angel!!

I am listening to "There You'll Be", and I can not stop some tears, some time. And it is feeling good. There is nobody here , but Everybody in Here!!
It is feeling Good!!
I have seen your last photos. I Adore You, I have Been Blessed by God, by Heaven!!
My favorite one, the One You run upstairs to UTA, our place, as symbol You are sending to me!!
I've got new "bighead"-phones (no problems about space now ) for my mobile. I was listening to, so funny walking, "Thriller", and then I passed by a little girl in front of her door home. She smiled to me and told me she was going to a School Party with mom, dad and little friends like her. We talked for a little while. She was so Terribly Nice. And it just happened less than hour ago. So Easy Living by "Simple" things of Life, that at last we are wise enough to understand they are the most Important in the World.
That Felt so Good too!!
And I think my sex-appeal is coming back again. Good news for my particular photographer!

You are Looking so Extraordinary in those photos, I will dowload them all, one by one!!
What time is it??
I am only listening to songs sung by women because You've taken my sensitivity to its top in my mind, and I need to Feel You also there in those lyrics and sounds; You are so Bright and Lovely to me that my heart seems to Explode!!
But, as I said yesterday and Forever, THE MOST IMPORTANT to me in the whole thing is ONLY YOU; I Need You and I Need You to Be the Happiest One!!
That is All I Need to Live, please Remember it Always in your life, if You Love me too!!

I am going to see a NBA match now, and having fun. It is sunny here, and there is an open window at my left side, a lot of light through it to me. It's like All of this miracle came directly from You in your Place, which at last is the same as mine. Here, our Heart and our Soul that will never die, and our Eternal Love!!
I was talking about sport because it is a great hobby to share (who do You think will win this season ring ) and also good to practice it. I am taking a lot of care about the body, and it is improving. Maybe I won't smash the ball any more, who knows, but still able to make a good HOME RUN!! That is for Sure!!
Our Home is where You are, and it is so Easy to see how it belongs to the skies in the brightest nights and the seas of Dream in REAL Love for ETERNITY!!
I am with You, with You Forever!

How it is possible to Feel so Free again; the only answer can be LOVE!!
Please, on my true goodness and for the most Sacred, Forgive me All!! I Love You!!

I am thinking about some funny thing to say now. Well, the dentist told me yesterday that we were going to see more than she usually see her boyfriend.
Oh my! I thought, yes those teeth need a good repair, but nothing without solution. I just want to look bright for You. I told her, following the joke, that she could talk him that "maybe it was my fault, but not my intention".
I've become much more Natural Everywhere, I Promise You, Brooke; and I can notice it by the way People treat me.
The other day a pal from work, that had been a policeman, and that it is no longer with us embraced me, manly friendship (Iknow You are not very worried about it , I know You are not ); and I felt the whole thing so natural friendship. He did it because I've changed a lot, I know (before only a good "shaking hands"). Better than ever before. And Everything is Because of You, my Adored Angel, my whole Life!!
I've become a much better person, thanks to You!!
Tomorrow I will come again. I just wanted to Wish You the Best Day, with Your Nice and Beloved Family and Friends!

Brooke, I Love You so much, Adore You too much!!

Hello, Hola, my Beloved!!

I could listen to the song from that amazing video with your Beautiful pictures and The Blue Lagoon; Thank You for not posting the last lyrics in the video, that one talking about it's not Destiny and We are not Truly Feeling, Thank You because it would have been really Painful to me!!
It is True, for the first time yesterday I could not read a single line from the books. I spent the whole day with Your Image and Your Voice in the centre of my mind and my heart, All the Time. I even did not know what I was looking at, on TV, sky or anyway.
But I am fighting for Feeling Good and Transmit it to You, what other thing else can I do!!
To fall down on my knees and cry, that would be the best symbol for me when I am Needing your Touch, your Skin, your Arms around me and All things You know!!
That is not for me, and I would never do it to You, because I Love You too much!!
I am not trying to flatter myself, I am fighting for Love, the only way God or Destiny has decided to let me do till now. For some many years that I do not remember the first day with You, because All them put together seem to me as One hour holding your Heart, your Mind, your Soul!!
Admiting I can not do it, and that it's been so much Hard in my life, at the very least, please let me try to Hold your Mind and your Feelings the best I can!!
I know I am not the first one in history (You know) but I know You Love me!!
I am listening to some video right now, starting by S!! Why not!!

When today I've seen one very well known picture of You, swimming by the pool, I could Feel so Clear how temperature of my body grew up to 42 ºC, so Clear!!
Fortunately, I had to change PC, they gave me number 3, but sound was malfunctioning, so I took number two, IT WORKDS!!

I am Speechless now. I do not know what else I can do or say. Just keep on fighting for Love. I will do photos. I will write here, I will Love You 24 hs a day.
What else I can do!!

I am not falling apart, I Fight for Staying Healthy in my mind and my soul, after so TERRIFIC AND CRUEL LONGING FROM DESTINY, FOR SO LONG TIME, MORE AND MORE INTENSE EVERY DAY!!
I am not angry, I am just trying to explain and express how I Feel for You!!
Maybe it is a closed road, but I will never let it go. Don't be Angry with me, Please, because it's like hell to me.
But I would do anything You wanted.

I Love You, from the first to the last cell of my blood, with the whole of my heart and my soul, Forever!!

Hello again Beauty, my Angel!!

I had to come again today. I did not want to worry You. Everything's OK (almost), and CONTROLLED. This last one, Selfcontrol from me. You can Always count on me for that, though I Love You this Crazy way that almost kill me.
It won't!! Now You are with me, I can Feel it!!
But well, I had to come, my conscience did not let me stay apart this evening!!

I hate to admit something else made me come. I could not stop thinking about You. Thanks a lot for the last video, One smile, One Breathing! Thank You, my Beloved!!
I've R-ead almost 3 pages this Eve-ning, but I promise I will improve that number!

I Love You a lot, I would do anything for You and it does not matter what happens to me. But I know it matters to You and to many other People too. You can stay calm about me!!
But take care!!


I am breathing the fresh air from my left's window!!
You are "L'Amore", so LayLA "mio" on my calm, and Feel how Fulfilled is my heart for having You with me, now I know You will never let me go and Stay Forever Here beside me, whatever!!
I would need something more than yoga today, but I "tomaré nota" about that "body-idea"; for "body-calm" I mean!! It's a new discipline, like fitness, but much more Fitting!!
Cimarron, "tight fitting", I think it was something like that; but never like Calvins to me!!

You are TREMENDOUS in them (and also when You are not in them). Now in S-panish, "eres un monumento de Dios a la mujer"! And I S-uddenly




Now my eyes are fixed on the screen, but they are looking at something very different and far from it!!
Brooke, I could not look at You at that place You know, I should have to jump on there, and I think that would not have been very nice and welcome from me, Naturally!! It was one or another thing, I could not handle another one thing, I knew it from the very first moment You appeared on the stage, Argh!!
No, not Argh, something much more Wild than it!!
Thank You for Giving me so much Freedom to talk like this; it is Incredible!

Now it is not only virtually True I do not know what time is it. Now I do not have idea. My mobile, new, it's "out of service" (words for this concept, always difficult to find for me -why do You thing it may happen? ); I was saying that my telephone is not working (Comunication is out of doubt, Please), and I do not know where my watch is. I gave one to my uncle Toni, and the other one is missing.
I do not need anything!!
You are Here, Here, just beside me, You're Touching my heart right now!!
I Adore You, Have the best Possible time in Your Life!! Always! My Love!!

Hola, ja som aquí!
I will never be the same again, without that "judgement" piece, oh my!
It was all like a movie . Hero sat on its place, fixed, firm, not a single move. Cold as ice.
And girls there, looking at the whole thing; between Scared (for the blood and tough situation) and Amazed, for the man there!!

It is OK, no pain!!

Brooke, I Love You too much, so much!!

I Adore You, I understand All!!

What did happen this morning? I am the beast now for frustration.
As You had surely imagined, this is going to be a composition. What else, it is my karma!!
This is jokes to be able to be less frustrated. Later I will talk seriously, with the heart.
Not very fine for family health, but all is going to be OK.
Camilo José Cela, Nobel Prize, one time said that he could pick up all whater from a bowl only by the force of his ass, on TV!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt1T12QX0nA (oh, how cute and innocent when he came)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOm6gUecx60

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2jhJ8PNqbI&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9VfQz7_D1E&feature=fvsr

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_20N7t-umo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVYfBQWB9Iw (first song in this alternative reality)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPgZbRTEvr0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy3JYYParMM&feature=related

It's what people say here, "qui pregunta vol resposta".

Now seriously, Brooke, I did never mean anything about not the hell Respecting YOU. I am talking about, You know!!
I Love You!!

Brooke, I know You are Here, but I am not conscious You are here when I write too much free, crazy and wild.
My mind fights to Feel as it is, but I know, We know, I would never talk like this if I was just right there with You, Seeing You and You to me, together alone!!
Brain, perceptions from mind, is making me fall down on those words I say, sometimes.
But this is nature, maybe my nature of doing things. I admit it, so sadly, when I think I could hurt You.
I think it is more typical and less different to the usual than I'd like to think.
That video, "I'm not in your arms", You are not in my arms... Made me so bad. The other things are inverse psycology, I know. What hurt me was to think about those words again!!
My Love!!
I'm sorry. But this Love does not know mid-degrees (this word, exist?), I see.
I have tried all I can think about to be funny and to make You smile, sometimes so Bad.
I will never surrender, Never!!
I will ask Help to God, if necessary. I've never done it, only asked for others, You know, but I will Pray for Help, for doing things Nice.
Can't You see I can not Forget You, and All that matters to me is You and I...
I am crazy now.
Well, I will check my neck and my brain (this last part of story is much more necessary I "think" ).
I can't Live without Your Smile!! It's All I Have!!
Now, in the garden, You'll see I Promise I am going to Study. I will Pray for that and for You and for All, and I will success, and You will Smile to me!!
I Adore You!!
Is it very evident?
I Love You Brooke, I Love You I Swear!!

Hello, Hola, my Gorgeous Lady Angel, here comes the again
This video, it's just been sent to me at work, it is true. Now I do not have time to see the whole part of it, but I've seen the first 1:16, and it is really funny fitting!

http://manneli.com/movies/humor/Sit.html

I hope it ends well. They, The Tricicle, I think they are genius!
Brooke, when I Feel your Smiling, I am the Happiest man on Earth; I Love You!!


PS: I am Feeling like 17, but much more Real, Funny and Heaven!!

Brooke, and today I slept quite well, but that is what I use to do.
Needing See You Shining as a Goddess too; modestly as only You know (it is True), but as a Goddess; You can Believe me when I say I am excited about that speech!! It will be like I was there, among all your Friends!! I am sure You gonna make Everybody Think, Remember, Feel Touched and Have a Good Time! That's what You Always do; Magic Fairy Heaven, or Class Day Lady, even Angel when You want!! I Love You!!


PS: I came half asleep, and little Now I am really awaken, I Swim in your Love!!

Hello, Angel of mine!!

I Adore You!!
It's a full of light day, out and in my heart. But if snow means some kind of rare and magic peace, it's snowing in my heart!!
How could I express how difficult has been to me to Survive without You (and I am using big "S" for the word "survive"), for all my life, till just a couple of days before.
For this pain I wrote and did a lot of crazy things during these past years.
I think, though there were hard moments, we've had a lot of fun too!! That's what I Like to think about us!!
You are Real, and please listen to me, it is so Frightening at the same time. I do not mean Movies=Reality, but I remember that scene in "The boxer". I am not that role, and You are not that other role, but there, it was only a 10 years period and they had met and Touched before.
Well, conclusions: It is SO BEAUTIFULLY SCARING!!
I am not making questions anybody, neither to myself. I just want to Live the best I can, because that way I can let You know the best of me, trying to bring some Goodness and Beauty from this place to Your Heart!!
I'm a million miles from You, but if we stay strong, I know we'll make it through...
It's what the song says, and I Believe those words, my Hope is made on those Feelings and the Love I know We Share, made by this Bond, even stronger than Life!!

I had to let go the Internet at home, I thought I could get TOTALLY SICK, WITH NO POSSIBLE CURE. THAT LONGING WAS THE HARDEST ONE IN MY LIFE. I KNEW I COULD NOT SURVIVE, SINCE I TOUCHED YOU, YOUR SKIN AND YOUR EYES, LOOKING AT ME, SO REBEL AND PURE. IT WAS LOVE!!
And I could not handle that. But now I've found different ways to stay Alive, and to Stay Healthy, with You; this is All I want. To Stay with You!! All other things mean nothing without this Love, You, much more than me or my thinking!!
I think I am really strong and tough, Modest is my word , but this was too much for me. But I Love You, and had to do something.
This way, this possibility about Feeling Good, Honest, Hard-worker, Responsible, Bright for Society (someway), Useful for People and for Future; and that You can See All that from me!!
That's my Energy for All I want to do!! It is Good!!
In fact, that is what I always wanted, but without, Your Soul knowing and Loving me, I could not find my way. Now You are Here with me, and I Feel I could do All things Good for Better, Always!!
Hey, and I am Feeling so Sexy, I see how girlsand women look at me, oh Yes!!
I wanted to say it!!

I will post those photos of the Baby. Brooke, he was really cute!!
I am still Nice? So I will shoot some new ones!!
I Love You!!
It is Love We Share, and I will Always Be with You, Forever, Anyway I can!!
You can Count on me!!
Feinstein's Heaven, my Adored, my Love!!

Hello, Hi, Bones Tardes!!

I almost got GREEN, You know that kind of Bill, and if I think about it I could not explain why. It even looks funny!
That 9, Hurt me a lot Brooke, that video with Aidan Quinn.
Man have to talk too. For a while, I will try not to look like a boy.
It was the hardest thing to face for my pride, in life.
I am so too much Pride, and that has its good and its bad sides.
"After all I've been making, all these years loving and suffering in silence, with so many girls I left along my way -I am so Handsome and Sexy and Bright and Honest and True-..."
Those kind of things.
I did many mistakes, and I almost think You were trying to Protect me from something.
I think You were angry, but I also think You were trying to Protect me.
There was no problem, as We know now, but I think it was for that.
When somebody, movies, songs... remember my weakness (clearly shown by my ANGRY MOMENTS), it makes me Angry again.
I Always depended on myself, never sharing problems with anybody, always thinking a man have to face his own problems alone.
As my Psychiatrist said (I went to see him, Nicolau, LOL) for two periods: "Salvador, tens un bon nivell d'intel·ligència, però l'has empreada a la puta".
I just could say Yes.

I've gone to exercise in the garden, inside of the house and I went to run, and made more funny things in the garden again.
Later, I started Thinking!!
For one time, will let me be serious, not trying to Impress You!! That's what I've been trying to do for the last 5 years!! OH my!!

I have no money to go to New York again, this year, I think banks will think the same. You know. I have been helping my family and my long time family's story... Well, have no money. I know it is not OK at all, but it is the Truth.
But I will come back, if You let me go there to see some other Beauty You may Create!!
I know We can not Touch as Lovers!!
I know there is Love!!
There are other things in your Life much more Important, and I am surely the third person, this would be the right order I think (I Promise), who thinks that's so Obviously True!!

I am sure You will Amaze Everybody in that new role, Morticia. I don't think You are a dark person at all, but I think that role fits You. Your humor sense, and your sexy side are those perfect points for that!

This place is an Honest way, I think, to share my Love. If more people may feel inspired by this, it is great.
I Admit I'd like to talk to You privately, but that is not possible, for the same causes I talked about a couple of lines ago.

I am so Grateful for All your Bright Details, and from All the Friends!
It is Magic, and I don't think You are making jokes about me anymore!
Well, at the very least now I think jokes are Healthy games, not like before.

That 9, and all things that came after it, Hurt me a lot, and all things I did about it Hurt me more.
I felt like something had been taken from me, that Purity of Love I Always Dreamed of.
But that is not True at all now. I think I've found the right kind of Purity to Live, to Love and to Share with All People in this world!!
Einstein, so Admired (and I think so far from me: I think I am quite clever , but...), said the best way to make the "Good thing" was to be a Good Model for Everybody could see.
Well, I think You are not the kind of person who need those explanations.

I think this Love is Real, and You Helped me (A LOT) to make it Honest (I hope so); and I think it can be a great Model too.
I will Always Love You, and will Always Stand around You, anyway I can. The little Help I can Give, I'll do.
The only think I'd like to see is Your Bright Smile again. To see You Happy!!
There're so many Reasons and this is what I Love the most in this World!!

I mean, to Be with You is the only thing I ever Wanted in my whole life; but I think We can make something so Beautiful too Here, and You are in my Heart and in my Soul, my mind, all the times, Brooke.
I am not trying to look as "Everything's OK, I am so Happy", but I am just Facing Life as it comes. And there're so many Beautiful things in this world, despite to the pain I am feeling for not having You with me, Touching You and Feel as One our bodies!!
Yes, I've just said it, but I do not like to say it for many times because I think it is not very nice. It is so obvious, but to say it, with its own words... I don't like it at all.
I know We've got a Bond!!
And it is Eternal, my Angel (I am starting with those things again, You see), Forever!!
And it was not a joke, I was taken by the Emotion. So High, this Emotion You wake up in me, Brooke!!
I've been with other women (different ways and times) but never Felt LOVE!!
I am beeing Honest this time; but You were Always in my mind. I could never Feel Happy, Never!! I Tried it, Honestly Tried, but Never OK!!
But now We are together Here, and There're Tons of Love!!
And the 18th is coming... Hope You All Have the Best Birthday of All Time!

Brooke, We will be One Forever, that's All I Know and can "Understand" Here!!
I Love You, I am With You, Eternally With You!!

I had an inner Reaction. I had to come. I've been controlling my Passion for so long.
Brooke, every time I read something not good about You, it Hurts so much.
The fact to read You had to be operated, Your Face, is so tough to me. When I talk about the Sun, You are the Sun, I do not think about that, I do not wank to think about that.
I am so sorry.
But that happened to You; and I'd have wanted it had happened to me and never to You, so sure.
I'd give my life for You!
I had to say it, it was a Fire now, and when this fire burning I think can be good to be told, I Have to Speak to You!!
Imagine where I've been, that sometimes I thought that if I had a bad illness, in the moment near to the last good-bye, You would have to Stay with me, at least for a while.
It is crazy and bad.
I do not think about it anymore, just wanted to show You how I Love You, my Angel!!
I am Here with You!!
Anything, All things are Yours!!

Brooke, You make me Feel Happy!!
I have not eaten my breakfast yet, I am too excited and emotioned and fine now!!
You make me Feel like 17 again!!
Well, with a little more brain than then, but Love is as PURE as the FIRST TIME!!

Opening Senses to Feelings is Terrific to me!!
How I am Feeling for You!!
I have to use this in a Good Way, Natural Way, Healthy and Caring Way!!
I Adore You, my Angel Brooke. I Adore You!!


PS: I can Live as long as You Feel Right!! Your Living is so Pure and Bright to me; You Inspire to the top; I do not Need anything else!!
I will post photos... Be prepared...

My Beloved Brooke,

Now, with Your Help and Dear People Friends, I am Totally Focused on my task and my work.
Love's still the Same, much Better!!

And I Swear I am True now All of the Time, not ironic comments now, never more my Angel, never more!! You are Pure, You are Pure and Heaven on Earth!!
I Love You, my Woman, my All, my Existence made Real on my living!!

Hola again!!

I came for less minutes today, but I have to stay for a while!!
Those photos!!
What the Heaven with that Dress!!

Like Nick Fury, You make me Feel!!
Those photos: "not exactly knowing what to do" is the first message from my brain. A lot of things, nothing peaceful, too much Heat of Passion, for Sensual and Candid Innocence, for Purity of Your Heart, for the Beauty of Your Soul, for Your Expression Looking, for Your Eyes, Your Lips, Your Legs under Your Dress, Your Body...!!

I will try to Breathe!! All photos Touched the last drop of my blood, but the One I am Looking at now... It's Difficult to Handle!! You Haven't changed, We Have Not changed!!
No, Brooke, We have not changed, not at All!!
I could Stay Looking at this photo for the rest of my life, without doing anything else; as I used to do when I thought we were younger.
We are Younger than ever before; it is this Heart, this Heart of You!!
You are Looking more Beautiful and Bright than ever, Even more than in 2007 on the red carpet; I Swear!!
Without Your Strenght, I could not stay anywhere Free. Now I am Free All the Way in my Living, this Existence which is Completely and Unconditionally Yours, Forever!!

I would have never thought I would stay on these days, Talking to You, so Free and Happy, Looking at You this Way, so much more than Terrific, Listening to KR's "Lady", and Knowing You Know and Understand and Feel Everything in my heart!!
I am in your Hands, may You listen to me, I am YOURS!!
Nothing, nothing, could take me away from You!!
Heaven, Here!!
This Photo, a Magnet more powerful than the sun could not Attract the same way. It is our Soul, it must be!!
What can I do when I Look at You, that Way You Stare!! What can I do!!
What would I do without You, what would I do!!
Please, Stay Forever with me, You've Blessed my Life!!
I am Kissing You, I will Kiss You for All my Life 24 h a day and more!!

The way Your Precious Hair falls on Your Adored Shoulder of mine, that's the Way I will Love Eternally Love You!!
Thank You, Thank You for All, Your Living, my Angel from Heaven!!
Always as One, and I will make Love to You each and Every day for the rest of my life!!

Brooke, that's how You make me Feel, how I am Feeling Today!!
I Love You, I Love You!!

Hello,

I had to come again!
I am breathing!
I am respecting!
I am Loving!
You are my Love Light!!

I turned too fast when I saw your photos. I Love You!!
Cannes will even be a more Beautiful place!

I just want to Love You, with Intensity and Pure!
Being a little and and and !!
If You want!!
I am Breathing!! But can not stop thinking about You. Sometimes I can not stop thinking about what it would have been if that thing. But when I think about You, as I Love You, I realize how Beautiful and Magic this time is!
But not as much as my english!

Fire I can control, each day a little more!
I am controlling it now!!
About my wonderful hair. It is not very stylish way, but it is as it grew up. OK and Wild!

I think I will not be joking so easy funny when I post photos. You know...
This Energy I will Use for Good and for Better!
Brooke, I Swear for the most Sacred, and You know, I Love All of You!

I Wish You and All Family Friends the best Day!!
Tomorrow I will come again, and Love You all Night Tonight!! Peace of my Heart, I Love You!!

Hello!

I am confused.
Feelings without Truth are nothing. This is going to be a long message.

What do You want from me?
Are You trying to be sure I am not a psycotic person?

Are You trying to joke on me?
Confusing me?
Are You Always Angry with me?
Are You not knowing what You know?
Does anybody use his brain not only to confuse this person who is talking.

The Vero, Kelly, Edward, Chris Henchy, George Clooney, Lady Gaga... And many more,
What do You All want from me?

I want to do Good things in my life, and I won't stand facing Everybody all the time everybody, those I talked about and many more, want to Smile.
Yes, I know You all have problems, but I have had a lot in my living.
And Yes, I have not only been with prostitutes (a couple of them sometimes),if You wanted to know.
And Yes, when I saw Brooke, it was Terrific. I was not thinking about anybody else ass.

Those videos trying to put my virility down, does not work. Never worked. But I regret You did that. It is so bad.
I do not understand those Cruel intentions that are only there to Play and Have fun about me.
Like a monkey in a crystal cage, from where he can not escape, or the circus.

And what You are doing, it is not a cure, if it was your intention.
I never faced a so terrifically crazy situation. Marx Brothers movies where a serious Essay about Psicology compared to all You have made me go through.

I will tell You all one thing. If You keep on that way, and I am talking to You All, I will go out. Forever. And You will not see me ever again.
Is it what You really want?

You will not make I lose my selfconfidence and my confidence in some kind of goodness inside all the people.
We are not saints, but We are not as Cruel as I've perceived, from You All, for the last years.
Do You understand the meaning of a "man suffering for Love" and trying to do "All he can", as much as his bad understanding can. Does any one of You understand it?
Does any one of You understand what is to be in Love for more than 20 years and withouth any hope about it, finding You can not Love any other woman like that, Your own that Catches Everything in the Universe!!

If You like that blood from me, as the Vero used to do, here it comes.
Are You Happy?
I really Hope!!


PS: No one of You will break my Illusions!

Hello!!

Who did I hurt the most yesterday?
It was me, I've got no doubt about that.
But I know it was not good for anybody.
Today I am not feeling the same way.
I am alone, and I am going to be like this
for the rest of my life, that's all I know.
But, even though the loneliness, I'll do;
I'll do what I think are the Honest moves
and I will keep on this way Eternally.
Your Inspiration and other's human beings
will be the light through this sometimes
not so clear as we all would want running.

I will stay here for all the time You don't tell me "get out". As You will never talk to me, that will never happen. So, Everybody Happy!
It was a joke.
Sensibilities. It's all a problem about interests, values and sensibilities.
We All must live together.
To me, this is another lesson.
There is a way for the peaceful living, for human I mean.

I will go on my way peacefully, even though I may be hurt.
Yesterday, so many Good things came back to me, whe I could SEE YOU again, IT WAS THE FIRT'S TIME PURITY.
And later, those things that made remember all I have been going through.
There's a voice for me. That is All I have. Well, not so poor after all.
It is so important. But when a man talks (or a woman, the same but not in the sexual meaning, as many of you like to try to missunderstand from my messages-I've got not problems about sexual preferences of anybody-that's another thing you like to talk about too-please, just listen a little better); it is not very useful if anybody listens.
When she/he talks with the heart, if anybody listens with the heart too, the problem is the same but much more Tragic.
I could tell a pretty number of names along history.

Why We, You and me, must be Always fighting? I am so tired. You can not imagine how tired I am about it.
We can not be together, We'll never Touch, so why don't We try to make the living a little easier for the both of us?
I want to do something Good, something that it is in my hands. Not like other things I can not do anything about, and You are the first one that does not want I'd try it. And You are so Wise and Honest!
I will work on human evolution, morality and all those things. And, of course, but only in the end (if I am still alive, because I will need years, time), about Politics and Law.
Well, I know the most possible thing is that those things do not be useful for anything, as the world is going on, but at last, at the last moment, if I am conscious, I will KNOW that, for one time at the very least, I did All I could!
If there's a God, other things should be done by him, I will think.

And for these things, I will put my heartbeats down. I need it to work. It is not about Loving or not.
Better said, it's just and exactly for that, for Love. For Love Everything will be, don't You See it!!

Brooke, I Love You, and Love is much stronger than pain in my life. Thank You for Existing and for Your Heart, full of Good intentions (excepting that day) that I am not aways able to See. I Love You more for that!! Eternally Yours!!

Hello, Beloved Angel of my heart!!


I could Stare at You for a Lifetime and still not getting tired!! Uncertainty facing Eternity loses its ancestral meaning for You!!
Now I do not know what to say, because I am listening to a song that Touches me very much. And I have been Looking at Your Photo, which is my Heart!!
You Believing my heart is All I Need!!
I am being a little selfish right now, Enjoying this moment. Can You Feel how You make me Feel!!
I Feel Life Brigther and Purer than ever in my vains, Love's Fire that does not hurt my soul from this heart that will Always Beat for You!!

Tomorrow, photo-day. I have no idea where I will be Imagining You are yet!! We'll try to be Natural!!
I will also post baby and child photos I find. Next week everything will come as I promised!!

If my Dreams were a Legend, I'd say Lancelott time is yesterday and that it's Arthur's time in my heart (and Merlin?!! ) . Well, You know how I like those things like a kid!!
But I think, somehow, it fits my own reality, reality of my behaviour and my mind, on these Real Days of Heaven, Real and Pure Heaven for You!!
I am Looking at the Picture of You!!

Good morning, Angel of my heart!!

Thank You!!! All! For videos!!
It was being a little tough day. You know, those photos on the ceiling, out of the Shop!!
Now I know it's gonna be a Cher Sun-G!!
Those Guys from "Black and White", I could see Amazing Models like that in America.
I am going to be True, and I think I could Feel that in the street people feel more lonely than here (just my sensation), but in the other side, I could see in many places Tons of Values, Illusions and Dreams of Justice, Freedom, Honor, Peace and Love from many People, Women and Men! That is not so usual, and I could See!
That is how I Felt!

(I am making those personal video montages on the wall of my pride; You, and Everybody are over it now; because it's Love's Pride now what I am making)

My Love, I am going to See Your Pictures now!! I am not almost looking at videos, when You are there, I can only See You!!
And that photo from the Feinstein's!! I would wait One Million Eterneties for You!!
Opps, I think letters are following my heart more than my fingers!!

Sorry my Angel, but I am Enjoying music and the Pictures of You, and I can not even talk!!
Your Expression gets so deep in my soul that I can not explain it to myself.
I am getting calm.
I Promise I will Concentrate, even tough Feeling this Storm of Passion for You in the heart!!
It is going to be Peace for Love!!
I Love You so much, my Angel!!