I wrote this in my journal last week. Hope y'all enjoy it!
7/15/2009
Today I want to write on one of my all time favorite singers: Michael Jackson. He died at 50 years old on June 25th this year. I remember I had to be at work at 3pm that day. Earlier that same day actress Farrah Fawcett had died of cancer. She had been sick for awhile and everybody knew she was about to die anytime. So by the time I went work, Farrah's death was the only thing I had heard about. I hadn't heard anything about Michael or even think anything was wrong with him.
Then about 5:30 somebody I work with mentioned to me that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital. I was surprised but I assumed it couldn't have been anything serious. And this person didn't know anymore details so I went on about my business as usual but it lingered in my mind all night.
It wasn't it until I got home I found out it was true but it all seemed so surreal. How could this man - that so many, many people grew up on his music be dead at only 50? I remember that weekend I was so down. I didn't cry but I knew I was heartbroken.
It's been almost three weeks ago since MJ's death and I still feel kind of down about it. In a way I feel silly for feeling this way. This was a superstar, a world wide famous celebrity. Iconic. Legendary. Millions of fans internationally. I never knew him personally. I never went to any concerts. I am not a member of his family. So in a way I feel ridiculous about feeling so sad about it but I also feel like I can't help it.
Oh, I know there are lots and lots of people out there just like me who are devestated. I watched on TV all the fans gathered around Michael's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame leaving flowers. I wished I could have been there. (Maybe I can someday now that my Dad lives out in California now. Maybe if we went to Hollywood - I would love to see Michael's star.)
It's very clear how many people were impacted by MJ's death. It's very clear how many lives he touched through his music and generosity. It's also very clear people have very strong opinions and judgements about his life. He has been called probably about every name in the world but I think the most popular one is: FREAK!
I don't really want to focus on the negivitve aspects of his life. He and his entire family have had their entire dirty laundry hung out to dry for the whole world to see for the last 40 years or so? I know that comes with being famous - you pretty much have to kiss your private life good-bye. That being said; I think the Jackson family is a really fasicinating family. And I like them all. I think every family has secrets and scandals. It doesn't matter if you're famous or not - no family is perfect. I know mine isn't but that's OK because we are all still flesh and blood wheather we like it or not!
Anyway, I know MJ wasn't perfect, no one is, and he had his share of scandals. Some people have come to automatically assume he was this perverted freak who liked to prey on little boys. Like he was some little horny monster. I personally believe nothing could be more further from the truth!
The man clearly loved to entertain, loved to make people smile, and loved children, loved to help people. It's clear how much he must have loved people. And it makes me wonder: did Michael ever have any days or moments where he just wanted to give on people all together? With all the criticism, scrutiny , and slander aganist him over the years - I can't help but wonder did he ever just want to throw in the towel?
I feel like this recently - I see how cruel people can be. How selfish, inconsiderate, judgemental, you- name- it people can be! I guess it's only human nature (no pun intended!) that's how people are but lately I've been so sick of people and their BS - I can't stand it!
But he just kept on giving and giving. I'm trying to keep this as short as possible. I feel like I could go on and on. I know I will always love Michael for his talent, his music, his personality, his generosity . (Don't even get me started on how gorgeous he was!) He had done so much in all of his 50 years, more than most people ever do in a lifetime. I believe he is in Heaven now can finally take it easy and not worry about pleasing anybody anymore.
But I also know I will always be sad over his passing. Everytime I listen to one of his great songs I will smile and sing along but I will also remember he is now gone and no longer in this world. I was born in 1987 and I kind of wish I was born like 10 or 20 years earlier so I could have seen MJ in his glory days - seen just how insanely popular he was back then. Nonetheless, I grew up with him as did many others and maybe I haven't been around as long but I know I will always love him and I will never, ever forget him.